Bard’s New Years Day Report

On New Years Day, at a time when most normal people are trying to piece themselves together after the night before 14 cricketing enthusiasts gathered to start 2012.

 The obligatory press photo was taken before the teams were even selected but, in truth, they selected themselves. The younger contingent has gravitated towards the home dressing room, the more seasoned couldn’t be bothered and had settled in the visitor’s equivalent. Team Tonnage V Team Slim was considered but Young V Old it was. A quick head count revealed an 8/6 split so John Bleby as the most seasoned of all was moved across in a Peter Pan style and the Whippersnappers reached for the willow.

 The Senior Pro’s strode out as confidently as their hangovers would allow. The amount of layers on display turned even the most athletic members into more portly characters, the more portly into Sumo types and the Bard into something akin to the Michelin Man. For the record the Chairman, apparently still trying to locate his shirt from where he left in on the dance floor the night before, declined to participate.

 A blow by blow account of the innings would be pretty churlish although the young ‘uns did amount 58 from their 6 10 ball overs. This was a total easily overtaken by the pensioners before severe hypothermia kicked in.

New Years Day though is all about firsts so let us now recount those who have already made landmarks whilst sane club members still had their kit bags in the loft.

First 4 of 2012 – Sam Pounds

First 6 of 2012 – Sam Pounds putting The Bard into the next field

First Dismissal of 2012 – The Bard gaining his revenge the very next ball by knocking back the Nugget’s off peg

First ‘Yes/ No’ Run Out of 2012 – Ben and Ollie Lodge once again discovering that inter family strike rotation can be fraught

First ‘He’ll Regret Doing That’ of 2012 – Mick Wilkins removing Aadil with a throat high beamer. Just remember, the younger generation picks your care home in years to come

First ‘Taking One For The Team’ Moment – Henry Simpson bravely getting himself under a catch with cold hands knowing it was going to sting. He wasn’t disappointed

First Delusions Of Grandeur of 2012 – Aadil having his bat then finding someone else to field for him. Who does he think he is? Steve Charles?

First Boycott Batting of 2012 – Harry Miller building an innings with a straight bat when the bar was open….

All in all though a very social, if cold, way to start the year and roll on April when we all convene in anger. Probably in the same temperature though.

TEAMS

Old Uns – Pensioner Pedley, Follically Challenged Folley, Geriatric Jennings, Well Past It Wilkins, Knees Shot Neal, ‘Surgical Stockings’ Thompson, ‘Dentures’ Dan Broughton

Young Un’s – Bright Eyed Bleby, Ben ‘Boy’ Lodge, ‘Orangina Ollie’ Lodge, ‘Pass The Parcel’ Pounds, Mr Men Miller, ‘Sausage On A Party Stick’ Simpson, ‘Alf A Coke’ Aadil

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