A noticeable trend has emerged this season amongst the first team elite as they have gone to enormous lengths to ensure that they dont have to buy the traditional jugs for reaching 50, 100 or taking 5 wickets. Rumours that this is a deliberate ploy by captain Matt Craven are thus far unsubstantiated, but what is clear is that he is implicated through his own actions at the crease, and subsequant lack of action in the bar.
In the last 2 weeks alone he has hit a ton at Sileby, and got himself out in the 40’s at Loughborough. He has also allowed Aamir, Aadil, Saif, Johnny and Daz get away scott free from supporting team and club tradition in the time honoured fashion. This is in complete contrast to the behaviour witnessed by other teams who are overflowing with jugs, bought at the appropriate time for their team mates to enjoy. Indeed, in the 4th team for example there has been a case of “jug overload” witnessed on many occasions this season due to the ridiculously generous and honourable nature of their players.
In the face of this blatant disregard for the rules it was some form of poetic justice this weekend when Captain Craven was “duped” into buying a round (obviously not at Kibworth just in case any others wanted a drink!), on the back of an elaborate scam linked to the British Open. The Skip was lured into believing that the 2 players that he had backed (Tiger Woods and Hunter Mahan), were involved in a play off to win the title, which would have ensured a tidy payout for the short armed Craven. The scam was backed up by so far unnamed members of the team ensuring that everyone in the Loughborough area was in on the joke bar poor old Matty. The joke was compounded when the seemingly cash richer and ecstatic skipper happily buying a large round at The Woodies, blissfully unaware that the real winner of the Open Phil Mickelson was doing something similar for the gentlemen of Muirfield!
However, Craves soon crashed down to earth either courtesy of 5 Live, Sky Sports News or a chat with his dad and as the truth unfurled he launched a tirade of abuse in the direction of his well hydrated team mates via text and social media.
Ha Ha HA HA!!!